April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month so I decided to share some of the things I wish someone had said to me fifteen years ago when it happened to me the first time or three years later when it happened again. My hope is that these words will give someone comfort, even if it’s just in knowing you’re not alone:
When you’ve been broken, one of the bravest and most powerful things you can do is tell your story, to give a voice to your experience and a name to your feelings. That can be the beginning of creating space – demanding it if you have to – to feel, to hurt, to grieve what was lost in the breaking.
And in the midst of feeling, hurting, and grieving, I hope that you will remember to look for the beauty and the strength in what remains after those pieces of you crashed to the ground. Give yourself permission to heal. Resist the temptation to pick up the broken shards to try to put yourself back together the same as before. The paradox is that you won’t need all of those pieces to be whole again because God’s grace was in the breaking. Eventually you will find that He left you with exactly what you need even if you can’t see how it all fits together and His restoration is far better than anything you can do on your own.
Those of us who have been gracefully broken, yet artfully restored, have an opportunity to give purpose to our past. We now recognize brokenness in others that we would not have seen before. Our scars give us the authenticity and authority to stand with them in the sacred space of their pain when they cannot stand alone. We learn that this hard-earned empathy can act as a catalyst, inspiring others to find the freedom to feel, to hurt, to grieve, and to heal, and it drives us all the more to share our story with anyone who needs to hear it.
If you have experienced sexual assault or sexual violence, please know: It wasn’t your fault. | You are not alone. | Healing is possible.
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