1982-2022
TW: suicide
If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, please call or text the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by dialing or texting 988 or visit 988lifeline.org to get live chat support or for more info.
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Reading about Stephen “tWitch” Boss’ death moved me in a way I can’t explain. Obviously, I didn’t know him, but I’ve been thinking about his wife and kids. I’ve been thinking about the void created in the wake of his passing. Mostly I’ve been thinking about what he must have been wrestling with that led him to end his life. Honestly, it’s a place I’ve been myself, and that, too, is hard to put into words. Thankfully, our stories turned out very differently.
I share this incredibly personal part of my story to say: mental illnesses are illnesses like any other, and sometimes they’re fatal. People keep saying he “suffered in silence” or didn’t reach out for help. We don’t know if that’s true. Just because he wasn’t telling everyone doesn’t mean he wasn’t telling anyone. Even if he was getting help, the reality is that medicine is not magic. Psychotropic medications aren’t guaranteed to cure mental illness any more than chemo is guaranteed to cure cancer.
People are also saying he took the easy way out – a phrase that turns my stomach each time I hear it. There’s nothing “easy” about being in that frame of mind. We don’t say people who die from degenerative disease or organ failure are “cowards”, “selfish”, or “should have fought harder”, and it shouldn’t be said of people who die from suicide. Some of the strongest people I know are living with or were living with mental illness. For a few of them, it was just too much to bear, but that doesn’t make them weak. I know firsthand that mental illness can distort people’s thinking, making suicide look like the only way to make the pain stop or like their families would be better off without them.
People are saying he “committed” suicide, which I also know to be a misnomer. The word “commit” implies choice. Unless you’ve been there, you can’t imagine the level of despair and hopelessness that it takes to bring you to a place of feeling like that is your only option. There’s nothing to tell you that your brain is lying to you. It’s like being on a moving sidewalk at an airport; you’re being propelled forward, but the only place to get off is at the end. By that point, it no longer feels like a choice but an inevitability.
tWitch didn’t “commit” suicide. He died by suicide. He died from a mental illness.
Rest now, tWitch. I pray comfort and peace cover your loved ones.
Until next time,
#endthestigma #noshame #taboo #depression #anxiety #SuicideAwareness #suicideprevention #mentalhealth #brainhealth #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthparity #988Lifeline #therescuedrebel
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